There's a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She knows I don't like peas but she doesn't care
She says come on try it now it's not the worst
If you want some ice cream, you must eat that pea first
And I really did put the pea on my spoon
But I made a mistake and my mouth closed too soon
It slipped off the spoon and fell on to the floor
My mom said don't worry, she's got plenty more

There's a pea on my plate that my mother put there
Peas make me vomit but she doesn't care
They're wrinkled and mushy and slimy and green
I wonder what happened that made her so mean
There's really no telling how much this will hurt
But I have to eat it 'cause I want dessert
It shouldn't have happened, it's true I suppose
Somehow by mistake it got stuck up my nose

There's a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She knows I'm not hungry, but she doesn't care
I tell her if she makes me eat it, I'll die
She says that she's sorry to hear that, bye bye
It rolls on my plate, both forward and back
It rolls round and round like a train on the track
Faster and faster it huffs and it puffs
Till it rolls of the track - whoops!
My mom says "Enough!"

There's a pea on my plate that my mother put there
It's cold and it's clammy, but she doesn't care
It's hard to believe that just one stupid pea
Is all that stands between some ice cream and me
So we sit at the table, just me and my mom
My sister, my brother, my father are gone
I hear the clock ticking, now it's getting late
For me and my mom and the pea on the plate

There's a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She says that she really thinks she's being fair
Just one little bite and this whole thing will stop
And I can have ice cream with jimmies on top
She knows that she's got me, she'll win, there's no doubt
She knows ice cream's something I can't live without
She knows this is one fight that she cannot lose
I say, "Skip the ice cream, may I be excused?"

© Bill Harley, Round River Music. All rights reserved. Used with permission.